Help! I’m playing Scrabble with Midge Ure. I’ve only got 4 letters left, but they mean nothing to me: OVNR
| Taxi Driver Online http://taxi-driver.co.uk/phpBB2/ |
|
| New Jokes thread http://taxi-driver.co.uk/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=28380 |
Page 24 of 45 |
| Author: | ven2112 [ Tue Mar 28, 2017 5:51 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
Help! I’m playing Scrabble with Midge Ure. I’ve only got 4 letters left, but they mean nothing to me: OVNR
|
|
| Author: | ven2112 [ Tue Mar 28, 2017 5:57 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
Whilst attending marriage counselling, the counsellor said have me & our lass ever tried tried role play. "aye" i said, I was the plumber and she couldn't pay" "And how did that go?" asked the counsellor, wor lass said "Awful" & burst out crying "the fooker is taking me to the small claims court" |
|
| Author: | ven2112 [ Tue Mar 28, 2017 6:00 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
I braked like fook , but still hit the car in front of me, then a gorgeous blond got out and screamed "Ram me up the arse as hard as you can why don't you! "And this, your Honour, is where all the confusion started...
|
|
| Author: | ven2112 [ Tue Mar 28, 2017 6:02 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
I bought a new strimmer today. It's cutting hedge technology
|
|
| Author: | edders23 [ Wed Mar 29, 2017 6:12 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
I called the wife and asked her to pick up Fish and Chips on her way home from work. All she did was grunt at me. I think she still regrets letting me Name the Kids.. |
|
| Author: | ven2112 [ Thu Mar 30, 2017 6:05 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
edders23 wrote: I called the wife and asked her to pick up Fish and Chips on her way home from work. All she did was grunt at me. I think she still regrets letting me Name the Kids.. 
|
|
| Author: | ven2112 [ Thu Mar 30, 2017 6:08 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
oldie but goodie Paddy staggers exhausted into his house. ‘What’s wrong with you?’ asks Murphy. ‘I thought I’d save my 75p bus fare by running behind the bus,’ gasps Paddy. ‘You daft bastard,says Murphy "If you’d run home behind a taxi you could’ve saved a tenner."
|
|
| Author: | ven2112 [ Thu Mar 30, 2017 6:13 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
A bloke goes into a Welsh pub and asks for a gin and tonic. All the pub falls silent, then the landlord says "Where are you from boyo, you sound English"? "Er, I'm from Bristol actually" he replies nervously. "Bristol you say, and what do you do in Bristol, look you"? says the Landlord "I'm a Taxidermist" says the man "Taxi.... what"? says the Landlord, "is that something to do with transport boyo? The man says "No I stuff and mount animals" The landlord shouts "It's OK lads, he's one of us"!
|
|
| Author: | ven2112 [ Thu Mar 30, 2017 6:15 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
A Pakistani turns up at the Pearly Gates, St.Peter asks " Why are you here"? The Pakistani says " I've come to see Jesus" St.Peter shouts " Hurry up Jesus, your taxis here |
|
| Author: | ven2112 [ Thu Mar 30, 2017 6:21 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
I shouted a taxi driver over and saw he was a muslim. I said "How much to the airport mate?", "£50 mate" he replied. So i gave him the £50 and told him to fuck off
|
|
| Author: | edders23 [ Sun Apr 16, 2017 5:34 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
I was out on the town last night with the lads from OCD anonymous. Things weren't going to get messy. |
|
| Author: | edders23 [ Sun Apr 16, 2017 5:35 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
my scientist mate broke the laws of Gravity. Judge gave him a suspended sentence. |
|
| Author: | ven2112 [ Mon Apr 17, 2017 2:27 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
Merry Christmas from everyone at the Alzheimer's Society |
|
| Author: | ven2112 [ Mon Apr 17, 2017 2:27 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
edders23 wrote: I was out on the town last night with the lads from OCD anonymous. Things weren't going to get messy.
|
|
| Author: | sasha [ Tue Apr 18, 2017 8:09 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
I was told I'm a bit of a looker the other day - or voyeur as the neighbours wife put it ! |
|
| Page 24 of 45 | All times are UTC [ DST ] |
| Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group http://www.phpbb.com/ |
|