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New Jokes thread http://taxi-driver.co.uk/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=28380 |
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Author: | wannabeeahack [ Sat May 20, 2017 7:52 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
Whilst out driving I rang my wife... Hi love Me) Hi Her) you ok? Me) sure, you? Her) yeah Me) by the way love, im eating my sandwiches Her) ok Me) er, whats on them? Her) crab paste Me), ok, where did you get the crab paste? Her) from the chemist |
Author: | ven2112 [ Sat May 20, 2017 8:14 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
edders23 wrote: The Hygiene inspector visits Murphy's Bakery and finds Murphy using his own False teeth to Crimp the Steak pie pastry. He is appalled, "Murphy, do you not have a Tool?" "Aye" replies Murphy, "But I use that to put the holes in the doughnuts" ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Author: | wannabeeahack [ Sun May 21, 2017 8:59 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
Paddy is last in line for the guillotine, the previous 3 were saved when the blade stopped short of thier necks by inches, paddy lies down, the blade drops and stops, being allowed 3 tries they haul the blade back up and paddy shouts.. "hang on guys, I CAN SEE WHERE ITS STICKING" |
Author: | ven2112 [ Tue May 23, 2017 6:49 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
Tapping up a lass in the club last neet, and we got on canny , so I asked if I could go back to her flat and shag her, "no way ven mate" she said " i'm on my menstrual cycle" "nowts a bother " I said "you lead the way and i'll follow on my Honda " ![]() |
Author: | ven2112 [ Tue May 23, 2017 6:52 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
Can't believe my girlfriend just called me old fashioned. And with her ankles showing - the fooking slut ![]() |
Author: | ven2112 [ Tue May 23, 2017 6:56 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
Two Indonesian men have been caught having gay sex by vigilantes, they have been sentenced to public whipping. They plan to get caught again on Friday, Saturday, Next Monday and Wednesday ![]() |
Author: | ven2112 [ Tue May 23, 2017 6:57 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
Just got the new Renault Mccann.I parked it outside earlier and now i cant find it ![]() |
Author: | ven2112 [ Tue May 23, 2017 7:01 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
My young daughter asked me this morning, "Daddy, what were you and Mummy doing in the bedroom last night? I could hear a buzzing noise, then Mummy started to scream." "Nothing, darling," I replied. It was then I burst out laughing as my wife walked down the stairs with her half-shaved head |
Author: | wannabeeahack [ Mon Jun 05, 2017 6:18 pm ] |
Post subject: | Protect home from IS |
Anti-terrorist kit for home ![]() |
Author: | edders23 [ Wed Jun 07, 2017 2:07 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Protect home from IS |
wannabeeahack wrote: Anti-terrorist kit for home ![]() it really isn't funny ![]() |
Author: | grandad [ Sat Jun 10, 2017 8:28 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
*BREAKING NEWS* 2 Muslims have crashed their speedboat into the Thames barrier. Police have warned that this could be the beginning of ram-a dam! |
Author: | edders23 [ Sat Jun 10, 2017 3:11 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
so we have a new force in British politics the MAYDUP party ![]() or is it the May Duped party ![]() |
Author: | Nidge2 [ Sun Jun 11, 2017 12:22 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Protect home from IS |
wannabeeahack wrote: Anti-terrorist kit for home ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Author: | edders23 [ Mon Jun 12, 2017 10:10 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
The mother-in-law arrives home from shopping to find her son-in-law, Paddy in a steaming rage and hurriedly packing his suitcase. "What happened Paddy?" she asks anxiously. "What happened? I'll tell you what happened! I sent an email to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my fishing trip. I get home ... and guess what I found? Your daughter, my wife, Jean, naked with Joe Murphy in our marital bed! This is unforgivable! The end of our marriage. I'm done. I'm leaving forever!" "Ah now, calm down, calm down Paddy!" says his mother-in-law. "There is something very odd going on here. Jean would never do such a thing! There must be a simple explanation. I'll go speak to her immediately and find out what happened." Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile. "Paddy, there, I told you it must be a simple explanation........... ..She never got your Email |
Author: | edders23 [ Tue Jun 13, 2017 6:47 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: New Jokes thread |
My mate says that the cost of living is so bad his wife is forced to have sex with him because she can't afford batteries |
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