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PostPosted: Sat Jun 02, 2007 3:57 pm 
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Joined: Mon May 21, 2007 6:05 am
Posts: 63
Location: Hastings E Sussex
Hackney Driver was taking a passenger home late at night.
Passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.

For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking driver said, "I'm sorry but you scared the daylights out of me."

The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn't realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much.

The driver replied, "No, no, I'm sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years


Junie2006

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 Post subject: New York!! New York!!
PostPosted: Sat Jun 02, 2007 4:04 pm 
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Joined: Mon May 21, 2007 6:05 am
Posts: 63
Location: Hastings E Sussex
AN EVENTFUL JOURNEY

An Englishwoman and her young son were travelling in a taxi in New York. As they were driving through a rather seedy looking part of town, the boy became fascinated by the garishly made up women in short skirts and high heels who seemed to be accosting some of the men passing by.

"Mummy" the boy asked, "what are those ladies doing?"

The mother, clearly embarassed by the question, replied: "I expect they're lost and are asking people for directions"

The taxi driver overhead this and interrupted: "why not tell me boy the truth, those women are prostitutes."

The mother blushed more brightly at this remark but the boy wouldn't let it go:

"What are prostitutes Mummy, are they like other women, do they have children too?"

"Of course" the mother replied, "that's where New York taxi drivers come from."

Junie2006

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 03, 2007 7:12 am 
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Joined: Wed Jan 17, 2007 6:12 am
Posts: 590
Location: North Of The Tyne
Junie2006 wrote:
Hackney Driver was taking a passenger home late at night.
Passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.

For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking driver said, "I'm sorry but you scared the daylights out of me."

The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn't realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much.

The driver replied, "No, no, I'm sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years


Junie2006
Some strange drivers/punters getting on here these days :-k :-k :-k

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jun 03, 2007 7:56 pm 
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Joined: Sat Dec 25, 2004 4:28 pm
Posts: 8998
Location: London
You mean sad individuals pretending to be females? [-X


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jun 04, 2007 4:58 am 
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Joined: Wed Jan 17, 2007 6:12 am
Posts: 590
Location: North Of The Tyne
GBC wrote:
You mean sad individuals pretending to be females? [-X
Wonder if he wears the frock at work :roll:

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 06, 2007 5:40 pm 
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Location: 1066 Country
A taxi driver walks into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm while his wife is lying in bed reading.
Man says: "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache."
Wife replies: "I think you'll find that is a sheep."
Man replies: "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep."

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 07, 2007 1:20 am 
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Location: The Internet
Yes, I can see why it had to be a taxi driver #-o

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jun 07, 2007 1:55 am 
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Location: North Of The Tyne
Sussex wrote:
A taxi driver walks into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm while his wife is lying in bed reading.
Man says: "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache."
Wife replies: "I think you'll find that is a sheep."
Man replies: "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep."
Now i know what made me be a taxidriver :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 13, 2007 12:04 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jan 17, 2007 5:50 pm
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Location: edinburgh
A dwarf got into my taxi the other night and complained about the fare!
He paid jumped out and said btw im not happy! I said which one are you then!!!!!!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 13, 2007 1:26 pm 
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Joined: Thu Jan 05, 2006 7:01 am
Posts: 133
Woman in a taxi lifts her skirt and says to driver "can i pay with this?" driver looks and replies "f..k me love,have you nothing smaller?" :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 13, 2007 2:19 pm 
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mikey wrote:
A dwarf got into my taxi the other night and complained about the fare!
He paid jumped out and said btw im not happy! I said which one are you then!!!!!!


Must have been grumpy. :D

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jun 16, 2007 6:12 pm 
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Location: Scotland
Quote:
A dwarf got into my taxi the other night and complained about the fare!
He paid jumped out and said btw im not happy! I said which one are you then!!!!!!


Must have been captain cab or Ell tell :?: :?: :doubt: dressed as dopey :-$ :shock: what is was one of them :lol: :lol: :lol:


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jun 17, 2007 1:46 pm 
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Joined: Fri Nov 03, 2006 5:23 pm
Posts: 41
Location: warrington
if god made the front of a womans body ,who made the back ?................................... THE COUNCIL who else would put a s**t hole next to a play area :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jun 17, 2007 2:07 pm 
2 blondes walk in2 a building....
you'd fink 1 of them wud have saw it !!!! :D


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jun 17, 2007 11:45 pm 
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Joined: Mon Apr 16, 2007 5:47 pm
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Location: The Gutter!
badger wrote:
GBC wrote:
You mean sad individuals pretending to be females? [-X
Wonder if he wears the frock at work :roll:


no one else seen it? Someone please tell her that that lovely shade of purple and those horrid flowers are such a turn off!

Please GBC come out of the closest and reveal the woman you really are :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :mrgreen:


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