Taxi Driver Online

Haggis hurler admits cab attack

A TAXI driver, sitting in his cab outside a takeaway, was shocked when a haggis supper came flying through an open window and then a man began kicking the door.

At Edinburgh Sheriff Court yesterday, the haggis hurler, 34-year old Keith Mackie of Peffermill Road, pleaded guilty to committing a breach of the peace and to damaging the taxi on August 30 this year.

Fiscal depute Alexis Armit said Ian Jeffrey was sitting in his cab outside the Palmyra takeaway in Nicolson Street when Mackie threw his haggis supper through the window. Mackie then kicked the door panel twice, causing £100 of damage.

Defence solicitor Jacqueline McColl said Mackie was a former soldier who had been discharged from the Army with post-traumatic stress disorder. He had been drunk and could not remember the incident.

Sheriff Elizabeth Jarvie QC deferred sentence on Mackie until next month for him to be of good behaviour.

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IDFIMH

Go straight to jail, do not pass go, do not collect £200.

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Skull, "You are a police inspector, aren't you?"
Cab Inspector Smith, "Yes."
Skull, "So, are you going to tell Mr Taylor what his rights are?"
Smith, "And ... What rights?"

I'm not sure what turns my stomach the most.

Another driver being attacked, or the idea of a haggis supper.

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IDFIMH

Haggis is nice

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Note to self: Just because it pops into my head does NOT mean it should come out of my mouth!!

savage wee beastie

CC

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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
George Carlin

Maybe as a pet but not to eat.

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Grandad,

You can't have a pet haggis.... can you

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Note to self: Just because it pops into my head does NOT mean it should come out of my mouth!!

Oh yes you can, but you have to be up very early to catch one to tame it
you go up to the hills and wait and as soon as the sun come up they come out for half an hour.
you have to stand on a steep slop and wait, as the wee beasties have 2 short legs on the left and 2 long legs on the right so they dont fall over when running around the hills
to catch one you need a large net placed across there run you hide in a bush nearby and when you hear one coming you jump out and scear it and as explained it can only run one way so in its attempt to get away it is off balance and it just falls into the net, that's how you catch them alive.
you have to keep your fingers out of the way of there mouths as there teeth are sharp
once you get one home you keep it in a rabbit hut for a week feeding it heather and bees honey, after a week you can take it for a walk but only along the edge of a pavement due to its unusual leg arrangement
after a while once they are fat enough you wring there necks and skin them you can boil them and have potatoes and swede or deep fry them in batter and have them with chips, with a deep fried mars bar for pudding

Any chance you could catch one for me please Skippy?

How many do you want??? got 6 in the run at the moment

One will do. Toots and Grandad may want some.

No point. It's illegal under Scottish law to export live haggis.
Also they can only be hunted during a short period between Hogmanay and Burn's Nicht.

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Me thinks you're taking the pish

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Note to self: Just because it pops into my head does NOT mean it should come out of my mouth!!

As if we would.

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