Taxi Driver Online

Here's one.

I'm sitting at Haymarket and this woman jumps in and says Palmerston place. I am highly [edited by admin] off at such a short journey but such is life. The punter isn't sure where she's going, or so I thought.

We turn the corner into Palmerston, and she points to where she wants to go, and I pull up. She then hands me a fiver for a £1.70 fare. I am absolutely gutted. I count out the change and explained that I have only one pound coin and that the rest would be in small change. I hand her the change.

I swear at this point I was as good as gold.

She replies, “I will just have to sit and count my change." I reply, are you insinuating that I am trying to cheat you out of your change? She counters, “I am entitled to sit here and count my change if I like.” I reply: listen, you slag, get your fat fuc*ing ar*e out of my taxi, or I will take you to the police and have you removed. She attempts to repeat herself while reeling from what I said. I cut in, get a life you sad cow. What are you trying to prove? She replies, “ do you know what it's like to be unemployed” I reply. You just hired a taxi to travel across a hundred yards to give me a hard time because you are unemployed. Get your fat arse out of this taxi, or it's the police station. She got out. I never heard anything more about that one

I've got a story about a lawyer I kicked up, the ar*e a number of years ago, fresh out of the Balmoral Hotel no less, dickie bow tie highland kilt, and a cheeky barsteward.

It'll have to wait until tomorrow.

I'm driving past the Balmoral Hotel and a figure in a Dickie bow tie and kilt hails me as I approach. He signals two minutes and ducks back into the hotel. Of course at this point I'm thinking there are more people to come. He then appears back at the taxi and knocks on the window and tries to open the luggage compartment door. I normally have it locked for my own safety but on this occasion, it was open. He pulls on the door handle partially opening the door, the door sticks on the rubber and doesn't open properly. I motion with my hand to stop and let go of the door. He steps back and I shut the door and put the window down. He says Auchingane driver, At this point, I'm thinking I've won a watch. He gets in the back, and we're on our way. We've travelled about fifty yards, and he says, “that was a very aggressive way you shut that door. I am slightly puzzled and taken aback and find myself explaining about the door normally being shut for my own safety and the fact it sticks on the rubber. I carry on for short distance, he then retorts, “what's your number.” I pull over and stop at the side of the road. I turn to him and say. I've got your number, and you are walking, get out the taxi. He replies. I'm a lawyer, and I want your number. I counter. You've got three seconds to hit the street, or I will remove you from the taxi. He repeats himself demanding my number while refusing to leave the taxi. I get out of and open the door. At this point, I think he thought I was going to resort to violence and was already making moves to alight. His hand is on the door handle with his bum off the seat, but he is still resisting and making demands about my number. I pull the door open fully reach in and grab him pulling him out into the street. He makes, little attempt to resist, and I turn him and push him off down the road, and now with his back to me. I take the opportunity to give him a hard boot up the arse. He turns quickly around and I step towards him looking a bit more menacing. He backs off unsure of what might happen next. I get back in the taxi, with “I am going to report you" ringing in my ears.

The moral of the story is, if you have had a good education and should know better be careful how you conduct yourself when all alone in a taxi with a stranger.


I nerve head a squeak about that one either.

Mind the time you decked the boy in kingstables rd??

Don't forget the time you got carted away from the airport in handcuffs

Has anyone else got stories to tell, surely I can't be the only one?

Aye, strange days, I remember him and his mates thought it was a good idea to kick taxis for no apparent reason. Funny how things change when your nose is spread all over your face. I wonder what he learned from the experience. The bill for the damage to my taxi was well over a hundred quid.

Aye, another moment of madness for L&B's finest, incidentally, I was assaulted twice at that airport by cops that lost control, and I can't remember anyone ever being reprimanded.

I think this may be an anger management issue.

CC

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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
George Carlin

It's a matter of perspective. Look at it this way, I helped the cheeky cow not to give taxi drivers hard time simply for doing their job.

You helped her?

She jumped into your taxi wanting to be taken to a place.....I'd say thats doing your job.

I'd say to be fair the advice you gave her regarding her weight may have been useful, along with the financial advice regarding her finances.

CC

_________________
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
George Carlin

Move over Jeremy kyle

True, but it probably wouldn't be proper to tell the slag she needs to get her fat fuc*ing ar*e along to an anger management course.

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http://wingsoverscotland.com/ http://www.newsnetscotland.com/

Now you're getting it. I've always seen myself as someone who helps people with their little problems, a public service and an education at no extra charge. Who could grumble with that?