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I know this is off topic but many of us can't imagine the wheelchair bound disabled using the services of a prostitute but when you sit down and think about it in the cold light of day their sexual appetite might not change just because they find themselves confinded to a wheelchair.
I've never been asked to provide a taxi service that requires me to assist a disabled person onto the bed of a prostitute but I wonder if any of you have received such a request? lol
The first good sex I had. Feb 2005
In December, DN featured experiences, good and bad, from disabled people who had used sexual services. Inspired by their stories, one reader logged onto a website that lists accessible workers. He talks to Nuala Calvi about his first visit
I’ve been using sex workers for about eight years now, and I’ve had a lot of bad experiences. But when I found out about the TLC website from DN (December 2004), it looked really good, because it was designed by a disabled person. The site was written from a disabled person’s perspective too, and talked about why we are often forced to go to working girls because we have no other way of relieving ourselves.
The woman I contacted was willing to negotiate on prices for disabled clients, which helps because the going rate is about £120 an hour. You might be able to afford that if you’re a rich businessman, but a lot of us are on benefits.
She didn’t have any special training, but she had experience of disabled people, and her own place, which was crucial because I live with my family. It was accessible, whereas a lot of places I’ve contacted through ads in local papers have been above shops, and my PA has had to carry me upstairs.
I got a taxi to her house and my PA helped me in and lifted me onto the bed. Normally, if I don’t know the person, I ask the PA to wait in another room, but this time I wasn’t worried because I had spoken to the woman and felt comfortable with her, so I told him to go and I’d call when I was ready.
The place had a nice bedroom, dimly lit, with lights around the bed, and she had lots of toys and oils. She was friendly, offered me tea and coffee, and we had a chat about what I wanted. We agreed on £100 for two hours. She was nice and didn’t ask for the money until the end, whereas a lot of places take it off you before you go in.
She undressed me – I had to tell her how to, because if I don’t, it can take a long time.
I’ve experienced working girls who find it difficult to handle you being disabled, and are unsure about what they can do without hurting you. She wasn’t scared though, because she knew I wouldn’t be asking for something if it hurt.
I hadn’t had sex for a few months and I knew one of the problems for disabled people is that if you don’t do it for months you don’t last very long, but having done this before has helped me get to know my body better.
From that point of view, I think it would prove helpful if I got a girlfriend. But when it comes to learning how to satisfy the other person, at the end of the day you’re paying for sex and the women tell you what you want to hear.
We talked a lot through the session, just about general stuff, and cuddled – I can’t just do it and leave. Other people I’ve visited have been clock watching the whole time and throw you out as soon as the time’s up, which leaves you feeling bad. But she didn’t make me feel like it was a transaction, more like I was seeing a lover.
You have to be careful not to get attached to the person though, or start thinking they have feelings for you. That has happened before, and I have to remind myself that when I leave the room it’s over.
When we finished she said: “Tell me when you feel comfortable and ready to leave”, which was a sign that the time was coming to an end. I rang my PA and went home.
For the next few days I felt really happy. In the past I always used to feel guilty and depressed afterwards, sometimes suicidal. But this time I felt OK because I’d spent a long time with the person and she’d helped me feel comfortable. I’m definitely planning to go again.
It would be good if there were resources available where disabled people could see trained women for sexual relief – otherwise it can be a painful and emotional experience.
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