Taxi Driver Online

whats the biggest borrox youve heard from other drivers?

best i heard was a local taxi driver on our circuit had taken someone to london, dropped off and as he turned round someone recognised him asked to go back and he got full fare (100 miles each way)

we al lknew it was cobblers but just laughed...

That would be illegal.

How about this and it ain't no borrox.
My wife and I were on a 2 limo job down in london. We were on Oxford Street and my phone rang The chap got my number off the back of the limo. It was Ian Brown from the Stone Roses and he wanted to book a limo for a 2 week tour. I still do the odd job for him.

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Grandad,

All the time drivers saying they have earnt what is nigh on impossible to earn. WTF do they do it?

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IDFIMH

The most recent memorable one is a driver who I mentioned to I had to go pick the kids up from school, low and behold he couldn't stop himself.....

I was sat here yesterday in the same position and a bloke asked me to take him to Southampton, I told him I had to pick my nipper up and he said fine do that first and then take me, yeah right, I'm sure I'd say that when there are 3 other cars behind him.

Another one who can't help himself, Mr £300 a night, funny how his boss sacked him recently owing £700 in payin isn't it.

Over the years I've met them all, the tales I've heard, the cars that do to the moon and back on a gallon of petrol, the grateful tipper, that's £3.60 sir, here take £100 for your trouble, the car that never goes wrong, this is mainly Pugjoe drivers as well, I've never heard of a French car that didn't meet the ramps within the 1st 3 mths of it's registered life, oh yeah and a real gem from years ago from a soon to be banned loser back them, Portsmouth to Plymouth in 2.5 hours, funny how the car was parked outside his flat all that day.

'Can I interest you in joining the RMT' ?

one chap i know started his Saturday of with a trip to condor marine base in Arbroath, 35 pounds,a marine had left his phone in his taxis and needed it back asap.Worked another few hours then got a job to Newcastle 240 pounds when he got back to Dundee went to the railway station to tell his friends he had been to Newcastle and then got a 45 pound job to glenrothes.Got back from Glenrothes about 1am and worked the busy time till 3.30am and went home with 330 pounds clear.(what a load of sh it)

round here the best one is a chap who lives in a local village his number plate is XOL 108 which when read backwards is ...................................

i thought they were all backward down your way....

One lad round here said he'd got a job to Newquay off the rank one Sunday morning at 2am.

Best place for bullsh*t is....TDO..

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Justice for the 96. It has only taken 27 years...........repeat the same lies for 27 years and the truth sounds strange to people!

Nah you have to have an IQ over 150 to be allowed to live in lincolnshire we send all the thick ones to Birmingham

story goes back a few years, but is stuff of legend...............The driver, I'll call him Jim, cause that's his name, midweek end of night trawl round the ranks takes him to the high station (well out of Flk. TC) 10 mins after last train has been and gone. Lo and behold there's a punter waiting. Jim draws into rank and punter approaches. "'much to manchester?" Jim never one to miss a beat says £300, "done deal" says the man in black, (inc bandana, leather trs etc) So Jim says he needs diesel to go on trip and asks for money upfront, MiB duly hands over full amount. A quick visit to garage, fuel bought and "cash left with the missus to pay the bills 1st thing", wink wink, and off he goes. Guy falls asleep on back seat, wakes up on M74 near Lesmahagow bursting for a pee. Jim, pulls over and guy's off on his toes into the depth of night, in the middle of nowhere. So having been paid £300 up front does Jim hang around in case he(the punter) needed a number two, or does he engage gear and hightail it back to sunny falkirk? No the bold yin goes to the local plod and alerts them to the erstwhile rocker in the corn. Funny thing is, no-one, to my knowledge, has questioned any of it.

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My heart is heavy, but my consience clear,
I voted Yes, without any fear.

One saturday evening a couple of years back, a chap asked me if I would take him to Bognor Regis.

"I will if you pay me" said I.

"My mum will pay you when we get there"

Now THAT'S what I call Bulchitt.

Claimed to have been a member of Splodgenessabounds, (Two pints of lager, and a packet of crisps please)

I didn't go, but the driver behind did. Did he get paid? According to driver, yes, plus tip. According to experience?

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Former taxi driver

"Yeah and then after getting that huge unbelievable tip I found a thousand pounds wedged in the back seat!"

And my c@cks a kipper.

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Trying to eat anything larger than your own head in one go may prove unwise.

That must go down well with the ladies!

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Grandad,