Chris the Fish wrote:
I've got it cracked. A virtual AGM.
Monday night you get primed for a hangover on the Tuesday.
Tuesday you go outside your own house for a smoke and a chat (via mobile phone with the other members of the Leper Colony). When someone is shouting on the computer you slowly make your way in. Careful to state your name and inside leg measurement before you make any comment we all go through the business. On conclusion go back outside, spark up the phone, spark up a fag and achieve more than in the conference.
Tuesday evening we all order the same "pizzaexpress" but the vegetarians can have nothing but garlic bread. Between slices the obligatory fag and discussion outside, on the phone again. In lieu of a cabaret, TDO is to be utilised, in particular threads on "Songs, lyrics & sketches from bygone, long-gone ages" "A BIT OF FUN" and "A Post About Nothing In Particular" are ideal. Refuel the potential hangover.
Wednesday we repeat the early parts of Tuesday, then, when the Minister fails to produce a DVD we spend two minutes indulging in slow hand clapping. We keep a respectful silence when the then no longer existent Quangos don't give a presentation.
Finally we go outside, smoke, chat and generally reminisce about the old days and promise gamely to do it all again next year.
You see, . . . . that's exactly what I mean . . . . another boring venue for next Year's AGM & Conference!!