Taxi Driver Online

I can't understand what all the fuss is about. Had a pair of these for years. Rather fetching they look too.

In fact, they've led to introductions to many interesting people. Like when I was wearing them at the pool in Port El Kantaoui in Tunisia (which is where we rich taxi types go on holiday) and this interesting chap spotted them and, in true Dale Carnegie "How to win friends and influence people" style remarked how attractive they were and how proud I must have been to wear them.

Well, what could I say. I was extremely flattered. And took great delight in the following conversation where he eagerly hung on my every word as I regaled him with my many experiences of being a taxi businessman in Edinburgh. And how I had thrived being one of the special few who'd had the honour of taxi licence ownership accorded to them.

Our kids began to play together, jumping about gleefully in the pool as their friendship blossomed. Our wives also clicked, as they both took great pride in their lives, mine as the wife of a taxi businessman and his as the wife of a successful entrepreneur.

We had a great day and just as the sun was setting, we arranged that we should continue our happy day over dinner and arranged to meet at 8.

Getting ready we all looked forward to meeting this lovely family and enjoying a shared meal together. 8 came and went. 8.15 there was still no sign of them. By 8.30 we were becoming somewhat concerned, so asked at reception, to be told that for some inexplicable reason the family had checked out.

Ah well. Everytime I look at my cufflinks at least I have the memory of that happy day and the security in my life of being a happy taxi businessman in Edinburgh.



BTW Did I happen to tell you that during my recent medical test for my taxi driver's licence I was required to provide a sample of urine?

_________________
Skull, "You are a police inspector, aren't you?"
Cab Inspector Smith, "Yes."
Skull, "So, are you going to tell Mr Taylor what his rights are?"
Smith, "And ... What rights?"

Swannee, there is no way you don't have a pair of taxi Cuff-links, short-sleeve shirts or not. I wouldn't be surprised, if you kept a pair in the taxi, along with your taxi tie pin and bottle of taxi aftershave and deodorant.

Your tales of your taxi business empire must be legion within the Edinburgh business fraternity.

Unsuspecting member of the public happens to ask, “do you own this taxi" Swannee's reply, “ of course I own this taxi, can't you see my taxi cuff-links and tie pin. I'm a taxi owner businessman, ”member of the public gasps in amazement with Swannee beaming from ear to ear, flashing his cuff-links.

Garry Garry you're confusing me with that pack of bullsh*t called Jasbar. See his post above!!! It explains his immense pride in owning a pair of taxi cufflinks, since that's the nearest he's gonna get to owning anything!!!

Me? I'll stick to driving and talking about nuclear physics and world economics to impress my punters!

Swannee, there is no way someone like you, or Longshanks, would pass on the opportunity to own a pair of Taxi Cufflinks, and no matter what you say, you can't fool us. Oh and I take it. You know this, Rab Currie character who started the Taxi Cufflinks thread on fasties, a blood relation perhaps? Buying taxi cufflinks for a joke for someone at Christmas, is one thing, but advertising it to all and sundry on an Internet forum, shows perfectly the mentality of your average taxi "owner."

I can just imagine citievictor making the video now:

der Fuehrer: We hav ze quisling in our midst. Which of you ferking incompoertents divulged our secret?

Silernce

der Fuehrer: You vill tel me. I dermand it now. Out wiv it you ferking scurmbags. Out wiv it I say!

There was much shaking by those standing around, but no one ventured an admission of their guilt.

der Fuehrer: Now! I dermand it now. Whoch of you ferkwits told where ze taxi cufffff links could be bought? Who cracked on about the Gyle ... tell me now or you vill all be sent to the rushing front ...

A damp patch appeared in his underwear. He imagined already that his pants were now brown. It was not a colour he liked, and knew der Fuehrer liked it even less; not part of any Aryan design.

But it was the dig in his ribs from both sides, by those he thought were his taxi trade pals, but who were prepared to out him to preserve their own hides from the rushing front that made him know he had to cough (link).

Rab Currie: It was me der ...

der Fuehrer: It was you ya ferking torsser. You told them where to buy the taxi cufflinks. Now they'll all buy them. Jeeze ferking Criiist, they'll all think they're ferking erchie now. We'll be up to our erse in alligators with numpty ferkwits thinking they're businessmen, because you told them where they could get the ferking cufflinks.

With that der Fuehrer stood up, aimed his pistol at obergruppenfuehrer Currie's head and made to press the trigger, to stop the miscreant from breathing valuable air. As the trigger popped, a triangle of paper appeared from the barrel of the luger which simply said -

Businessman HA HA!!!!

_________________
Skull, "You are a police inspector, aren't you?"
Cab Inspector Smith, "Yes."
Skull, "So, are you going to tell Mr Taylor what his rights are?"
Smith, "And ... What rights?"

Who is this Rab Currie, the Cufflink wearing taxi businessman type, that's trying to take over the world?

Didn't you guess?

It's ......


.......


.......

Dougie

_________________
Skull, "You are a police inspector, aren't you?"
Cab Inspector Smith, "Yes."
Skull, "So, are you going to tell Mr Taylor what his rights are?"
Smith, "And ... What rights?"

You two should check this out

http://www.cocksizecontest.com/

There is no doubt in my mind, after reading Rab Currie's Cufflink thread, Dougie would have been over to the gyle to by a pair, quicker than his wee legs could carry him.

Doom, what you have to understand, is that wee only rip the pis* out of people like you, because we can. Now away and polish your cufflinks.

Rephrased

what you have to understand, is that wee THINK WE rip the pis* out of people like you, because we can,

My man that is a bold statement, but I think you'll find the reality of the matter is WEE fuel you into replying each time, it's almost like poking a sleeping cat with a cocktail stick in a way, you makes me laugh with the sheet you come back with, that's the only reason for me visiting the northern region of this forum, if there was no Skull it'd be no fun at all would it,

Now, back to the Book of Insults for some new material, cos recently yours is getting old and positively Jimmy Carr.

Does it cost more for a pair with the central logo in it? And if you fail to wear them, do you get hauled before the disciplinary committee, and do the members get their £15 plus per hour for stiffing you?

And the City steering wheel? Do you have to order them specially? And does the Drylaw bawbag make it his job to scour the ranks to ensure you're complying with the dress code?

And the Comcab model? You only get to wear them if the happen to like you?

And the ECPH model? Do you get those up to 30% cheaper? Oops, sorry, that would have to be last year's model wouldn't it?

And the multi taxi operators who only admit to you wearing them so long as it doesn't attract attention to them?

And, do councillors have bigger gold versions to wear on the special occasions when the vested interests have a need to show deference to them? Like Hire Car Consulation Group Meetings for instance.

And, do the gangsters who operate on the periphery of our trade have a taxi cufflink recognition chart so they can identify those who they need to hit.

And, is it a requirement of taxi licence application that you show your taxi cufflinks to the MO before he will even consider giving you the medical you need to pass to be allowed to work with some of the scumbags posing as the public, that the council pretends to care about but is quite happy to be savaged by sexual criminals just as long as they don't have to devaite from the policy of privilege?

Powerful things these cufflinks, or what?

_________________
Skull, "You are a police inspector, aren't you?"
Cab Inspector Smith, "Yes."
Skull, "So, are you going to tell Mr Taylor what his rights are?"
Smith, "And ... What rights?"

Doom, you and I both know, that between mixing your meds with alcohol and polishing your cufflinks, you are a threat to the public. Now think yourself lucky, I'm not reporting to your local authority. Oh and trust me, Doom, if you were anywhere near Edinburgh, you would be locked up for your own and the publics' safety, cufflinks or no cufflinks.

Talk about flogging something to death......................

It was a laugh until Jasbar proved he's not up to writing a video script.

Let's all move on now and talk about something serious like jasbar's lobotomy. After all, it was a failure as they couldn't find a brain to remove.